5 Healing Mantras Helping Me Recover from Knee Surgery

Step by step on the road to recovery (Image courtesy of worldofmiri.com)

Because my body refuses to be rushed

despite my impatience

It’s been almost seven months since my knee surgery and my ACL (anterior crucial ligament) reconstruction. While I wasn’t a professional athlete prior to my knee accident, I exercised regularly, mainly for fun and to feel better in my body. I went for walks and a weekly 8.5 km run. I did yoga and Taekwondo. Moving my body was as much about feeling well as it was about having fun and socializing. The torn ACL put a stop to that.

Seven months post-surgery, I’m back to my bush walks, managing up to two hours. I’ve taken up running, however, getting back to my 8.5 km loop will require practice and time. I can’t do proper yoga yet, except for selected poses that do not involve bending or twisting the knee. I won’t return to my martial arts training for another two or three months.

Prior to the ACL replacement, the surgeon told me recovery would take about nine months in total, which means I am still within that range. However, the full process might take longer than the standard protocol because every body heals differently. I’m starting to accept that healing requires time. Patience is not one of my strongest virtues, but I have learned the hard way about the detrimental effects of pushing my body too fast and too far. My body can only take so much at a given time and if I do not grant it the time and space it needs to recover, I will only end up doing more damage. 

Right after the surgery, I saw my physio every other week and we’re now at a rhythm of every four to five weeks. Each time, I am given a set of exercises to complete daily. First, we focused on bending and straightening the leg – in hindsight this was the most painful and strenuous part. We slowly progressed to more challenging exercises and the focus around six months post-surgery was on stepping down stairs. I am making progress in re-building my muscles, but it feels slow and tedious. While this can be frustrating, I know I need to be honest with who I am and where I am at.

My personal truths post-surgery:

1. Being able to walk again after months of being bound to crutches is phenomenal. I am truly grateful for this.

2. I can’t deny the effects of the accident and surgery on my body. It’s a fact, it’s happened, and I need to accept it.

3. Exercise is not what I live for exclusively. I value my daily movement, but I am also a mum, a wife, a writer, and a friend. I have a life besides exercising.

4. Comparing myself to my fitness level prior-accident puts me under pressure which doesn’t help.

5. I am a woman. When I go through my cycle, my body needs to rest. This means I cannot always work hard because I don’t have the same level of energy available. I’ve been honoring this. This also means a week less of exercise each month which has an impact on my overall recovery time.

6. I need to honor my body. After going through major healing and health challenges in the last few years, I got to a point where my body shut down because it couldn’t handle the pressure anymore. Today, I know my body needs time. It heals according to its own rhythm which cannot be dictated from the outside, especially not by the sheer force of my will.

Still, after dealing with my ACL injury for almost a year, I catch myself being fed up with the process. This shows up as impatience with myself. I am cranky because my left thigh muscles are still visibly weaker than my right leg’s ones. I catch myself judging my progress. I expect my body to jump right back to its old form without putting in the everyday little steps. Everything just seems to take too long.

So, on one hand, I put pressure on myself, but on the other hand I am aware that over-pushing will make my body collapse with everything taking even longer.

How can I balance this in the best way?

My 5 personal healing mantras:

I’ve come up with five personal healing mantras:

1. I choose to understand and acknowledge the duality of this experience.

2. I choose to own and communicate my truth around this to myself and to others.

3. I choose to honor myself, my body, and the process. This is about tuning in and being generous with myself. When there are days without progress or exercise, it is what it is.

4. I choose to honor how far I’ve come. I was not able to walk at all and now I can do two hours walks. I was not able to jump at all and I hopped on my left leg (the one which had the surgery) the other day. The distance was less than an inch but I did it!

5. I choose to express honor and gratitude for my body and all my helpers. I especially want to thank my physio, my surgeon and everyone else who helped me move forward. Thank you for being with me, helping me, holding me, understanding me, encouraging me, believing in me, and pushing me, but also for wiping away my tears.

Thank you for reading ♥