How I Retrieved the Trapped Parts of My Soul to Become Whole Again

Retrieving lost soul parts from the shadows (Image courtesy of worldofmiri.com)

I closed the energetic gap

I thought I had explored every possible avenue to deal with my chronic fatigue. I changed my diet, de-cluttered my social schedule and commitments, worked on my boundaries, slept eight to ten hours per night, exercised, did yoga, meditated, worked through my shadow parts, did past life healings…

Still, why did I wake up after a long, deep night’s sleep and felt I could go straight back to bed for another five hours? Why did I crash regularly in the middle of the day with the urge to take a cat nap (often disguised as a meditation), despite not having done “much”? When I compare my daily schedule today to how I cruised through life twenty years ago, I could not even understand how I had ever been able to do a lot.

After all these years of healing, changing, working on me, shouldn’t everything be brimming with light? Shouldn’t I be filled with energy and stamina, bursting with creativity and great ideas, executing all of my plans with ease?

What was wrong?

Was another detox needed?

Was I lacking nutrients?

Did my daily boundary setting exercises not suffice?

I checked with a few friends and my own intuition. I did not feel like my physical body was lacking something. Instead, I felt an energetic gap. One of my friends described it as a dark shadow. She recommended I see a shaman. I connected with my regular past-life healer and booked a session with her. I was not sure if she was the right person to see, but when she popped up on my screen for our online session, she wore a Native Indian dedicated t-shirt. Well, the Native Indians are acknowledged for their shamanic skills. Thank you, universe, for the message. That settled my queries.

I told my healer about my chronic fatigue. It had been one of the first symptoms which sent me on my spiritual path many years ago. Had it improved during the course of the years? I would say yes, many of my lifestyle changes have made a difference. But whenever I work through a new shadow part, my body is sent into a new dip of fatigue and shutdown. I guess this is part of the integration phase which I have to grant my body.

However, over the past few months the fatigue had really hit me again.

How frustrating.

Instead of performing energetic miracle manifestations, I was struggling to keep awake.

My healer tuned into the energies and stated there were three trapped soul parts we had to retrieve.

This was new to me.

Until then, we had always released energies that did not belong to me. Now, we were doing the opposite: getting back parts of me that were lost in time and space. Of course, this makes sense when you think about it. What works one way should work the other way around. However, it had never occurred to me this could be an issue.

We worked through all of the three soul parts, one after the other. The most fascinating part for me was what they entailed, namely all of those embodied qualities I had been seeking in my spiritual quest but hadn’t been able to connect with.

The first trapped soul part went back to a life 47,000 BC (suddenly, I felt rather old). I lived the life of a nomadic shaman or tribal chief in today’s Siberia where I, together with my masculine counterpart, led the tribe by using my intuitive skills. I possessed wisdom which allowed me to gain clarity, discern and receive from the divine, all characteristics I felt have been lacking in my spiritual quest. The healer told me I was ambushed in that life because of the powers I possessed and, subsequently, a part of my soul stayed trapped there, which essentially translates to a continuous siphoning of those divine qualities from my energetic blueprint. Retrieving and welcoming back this soul part of mine would help me to welcome back those divine qualities.

I almost choked when I heard this story unfold. I had doubted my divine connection and intuitive clarity in the last months. Of course, this always has to do with trusting in yourself and your intuition. It is like learning a new language. The more you lean into it, the stronger and clearer the transmission gets. But was this lost soul part of mine to play a role in this as well?

The second trapped soul part went back to a life experience from 15,500 BC, where I lived in the area today known as the Philippines. In this life, I embodied the qualities of simply being, timelessness, serenity, and connection with the flow of life. I was strongly connected to earth and the elements, especially the element of water. Someone wanted to possess my love and I was captured. Releasing this part of mine would help me to stop being in my mind so much, to lessen my continuous worrying and to embody inner peace more easily.

Well, I could definitely do with a huge dose of that. I tend to see the flaws only and worry continuously about things not working out. I’ve been like this as long as I can remember.

During the soul retrieval session in this case, we opted for a different path. We chose to bring back the past me into her life to let her mature and grow in that respective timeline so that her and I would benefit from the wisdom she’d gain from this experience. It was like going back in a time capsule to change the past. What magic!

The third trapped soul part went back to a life in 1,600 BC where I lived in South America, today’s Chile or Peru. I reveled in a life of simplicity, wisdom, and joy. I embodied a grand-mother energy passing on my knowledge through teaching and holding space. It was a life filled with joy in the simplicity of the human experience. An earthquake struck and trapped my village and me. Apparently, I tried to comfort everyone as I desperately tried to help my village, which led to me picking up everyone’s hysteria.

Well, this pattern is well known to me in my life today. I subconsciously take on other people’s energies to ease their load. I was eager to welcome this soul part back into me. Would this help me shift how I showed up in the world?

A few days after the session, I was flat out with a massive cold. I couldn’t sleep, every bone and muscle in my body was aching, and I felt terrible.

I already knew that an energetic upgrade was usually followed by the upgrading of my physical body. Whereas I had mainly experienced fatigue and diarrhea in previous sessions, a massive cold seemed to be what was needed. Not that this made getting through the cold easier.

As I emerged on the other side of my illness, I noticed I did feel more energized.

I wake up refreshed.  I make it through the day without the need to nap. I have more energy to connect with my loved ones and to work through my creative tasks.

However, I am still observing how the process will impact my chronic fatigue in the future.

Time will tell.

Regardless of this, I am now three steps closer to wholeness...