How I was Guided to Spirituality

Light in the darkness (Image courtesy of worldofmiri.com)

Through my darkest moments I found light

I was in the middle of a major health crisis and none of the usual remedies seemed to be rearing any results (exercise, rest, changing my diet, supplements, and visits to the doctor…). I quit my job and let go of as many responsibilities as possible, but still felt exhausted every day. Something was not right.

I was overwhelmed.

I was depleted.

I had no idea what to do.

I had reached the end of my means.

In my quest for guidance, I turned to the local library. I picked up some books about guidance and how the Universe/Spirit/God/Source wants to show you the way.

These books got me thinking. Just weeks before, all my books had spoken about meditation, a practice I had reluctantly started after coming across it everywhere. Maybe all those messages had not been a coincidence after all? Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure anymore. What was behind this concept of guidance? Would it work for me?

The signs are all around us

I started looking for links and symbols. It seemed fun, a bit like a treasure hunt. I started out simple. When I was at the library, each time I noticed a book that stuck out, this was the book I chose. They were always amazing. Had I looked at the titles, I would never have picked them myself. A whole new world opened up through these books. I read about past lives and how traumatic past life events can stay with us causing reactions in today’s life. I read about spirit guides and how they are beings on a different plane who are available for guidance. I read about people that communicate with angels via numbers or other symbols. I read about mediums and how they connect with the spirit world via clairaudience, clairvoyance or simply knowing. I read about beings from other planets and universes that walk among us. I read about God/Spirit/the Universe as the source of all in its purest form which is love. It was fascinating.

Not that I believed in any of this. I had been raised in a very rational, mind-centered way.

I found it intriguing nonetheless. 

One of the books spoke of angelic guidance. It stated angels were always there to help, but that it was paramount to ask as they cannot interfere with our free will. It also said how important it was to put behind any request ‘the highest intention’ or to ask for anything in ‘alignment with our highest self’.

Well, that sounded interesting. I didn’t have anything to lose so intrigued I opted to give it a go. I decided to ask the angels for help with my health. Why not?

I asked the invisible for the impossible

The next day, I sat with my back against our bed frame so I wouldn’t slump or fall asleep. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I mentally repeated my call for help over and over, “Dear angels, I need your help, I need energy. Please help me in alignment with my highest self. “

I can’t remember for how long I repeated my mantra, but suddenly I perceived, with my eyes closed, a bright orange ball of light come towards me sending its energy and vibrations into my body. I felt pure bliss. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had.

When I came back into our reality, I was stunned. What had that been? I felt marvelous and the experience had been very pleasant. My body felt renewed.

My mind wanted to have an answer. I googled ‘seeing lights with closed eyes’. One half of the entries spoke of spiritual experiences in a very convincing way and the other half explained everything from a scientific point of view. There did not seem to be an in-between. Either you were totally hooked into the esoteric woo-woo or you were black-or-white in full denial. This did not answer my questions. However, at least there were other people with similar questions. I was not the only one with experiences like this.

I mulled everything over. For me, this experience could not be explained with my current understanding of science. So I settled for the other side. I had asked for help. Help had been given. I had received it and that feeling had been very real.

Acknowledging my experience opened new doors

After acknowledging this, I had more profound experiences that I couldn’t explain with my analytical mind.

One morning, during meditation, a voice inside my head repeated, “Infringement!” This was a word I didn’t even know, so I couldn’t have made this up (my mother tongue is German). I rubbed my eyes sleepily and decided to look up ‘infringement’ which means ‘a breach of law’. My mind started racing. Had I crossed over a red light or not observed the school speed limit zone? It wasn’t clear to me, so I let the experience go.

Two days later, my husband rang from the office. I pulled over and took the call.

“Hi, can you check with the bank and your credit card? There have been payments made in France, in a ski lodge and for different Uber rides.” I went quiet before I mastered the courage to ask, “When was the first one?”

“Two days ago.”

I gulped. I rang the bank and had the card blocked. Luckily, insurance covered the costs. I realized I had been warned, though I had not known what to make of that piece of seemingly random advice.

Guidance came in unexpected ways

A few weeks later, I was making cupcakes for our oldest son’s birthday. I placed the tray into the oven but forgot to turn on a timer. I went into the playroom to build Lego with our younger son. I was so engrossed I completely forgot about the cupcakes. Suddenly, the fire alarm went off. It rang precisely three times in a sequence with a short beep. Then it went quiet again. This had never happened before and has never happened since. I jumped. The cupcakes! I dashed into the kitchen to find them perfectly done. I was astonished. I pulled the tray out of the oven and quietly thanked the reminder.

I had read about the practice of asking a question before going to bed and receiving answers in your dreams. I decided I would give that a go. I wrote my question on a piece of paper and stored it on my night table, “Dear spirit guides, how do I know you are here? How do you communicate with me?” That night, I dreamed of my phone being in the charger. While I was looking at it, the charge dropped from sixty to fifty-two percent. I woke up startled. I had read about spirits manipulating energies because they are energetic beings themselves. Later during the day, the dream repeated in real life. My phone was charging while I wanted to turn on some music. The charge percentage button suddenly dropped from fifty-six to fifty-two. I was speechless. Then, I smiled.

All these experiences showed me there is so much more to this world that I clearly have no idea about.

But I want to learn.

I want to explore.

It feels exciting.

It is like embarking on a trip to an unexplored, foreign planet, and I’m gladly diving in.

I trust that the path is safe and that I am divinely guided.