When 3 Times 3 Equals Nothing: Could It Be Dyscalculia?

A daughter’s world was obscured by toxins (Image courtesy of worldofmiri.com)

How math problems gave us answers to an underlying health issue

• Have you ever experienced anxiety over a child not doing well in our school system?

• Are you marked by the fear your child will fail in life because they don’t score great marks at school?

• Is the approach “Do more! Study harder!” not working for your child?

• Do you have times when you cannot shake the feeling there must be something amiss but you can’t put your finger on it?

This is how we felt.

It started in grade two when our daughter was about eight years old. We noticed that certain math concepts were difficult for her to grasp. It worsened in grade three when she was supposed to memorize her times tables. It was extremely difficult for her. She simply could not remember those numbers.

My reaction was to tackle it with my own approach: study harder.

We spent every morning on the way to school practicing times tables. I would ask her a simple equation: “What is three times three?” and she would not know. We would count it out so that she had the answer ready: Nine. Right away, I asked again to help the answer sink in. “Well done, so what is three times three?” The only thing I got was a blank stare.

I could not understand. We had just gone over this a moment before. Why could she not remember the answer? This went beyond my mind.

We went through the motions:

I got angry, I told her of my disappointment, I vowed to her we would have to work even harder. I sat with her and we drew pictures of her times tables to help her with visuals. We listened to the times table songs in the car, non-stop, until everyone in the family was sick of the music.

We tried everything.

We were not getting anywhere.

It was as if the numbers were poured into a deep, dark, black space, disappearing into nowhere.

The more you put in, the more they disappeared.

The teachers did not seem overly worried and still thought everything was within the normal range. Some children, they said, needed longer to grasp certain concepts.

I was not satisfied. We had been working on the simplest of tasks for years without tangible results. Eventually, halfway through grade three, she received additional math support from school, which she liked.

Still, I sensed something was not right.

There is a game called “Rummikub” we love to play as a family. There are two sets of tiles in four colors each covering the numbers from one to thirteen. Every player starts with a set of fourteen tiles. The aim is to be the first to have placed all tiles onto the table. The basic rules are simple: you need a set of three tiles in order to place them. A set can either consist of consecutive numbers of the same color or of the same number in different colors.

Our daughter could not get her head around the rules. She placed random tiles together, for example a black 1, a red 2, and a red 3. She would not see how this did not comply with the rules. (In this case: a consecutive row must be of the same color; all tiles had to be red.)

I cannot remember how many times we went over the rules, but it was as if an invisible wall kept them from sinking in.

Clearly, we were not getting anywhere. Moreover, our relationship was seriously harmed because I blamed her for not trying hard enough. Not that I voiced it, but my undertone was radiating disapproval. We eventually had to stop doing math together because of my expectations. She plainly refused to work with me and there was nothing that would make her do it.

So, on top of having a real issue with math, patterns, structures and logic, I also taught her not to believe in her abilities, which – let’s face it - was a reflection of my own approach of the situation.

Luckily, I finally understood the harm I was doing and that I had to work on my own behavior.

Our daughter could not get her head around the rules.

The Link Between Heavy Metals and Learning Challenges

During this time, I consulted many books, one of them “The Medical Medium” by Anthony William. William talks about the toxic effects of heavy metals and how they can impact the flow of energy in your brain:

“The brain’s midline is located directly between the right and the left cerebral hemispheres of the brain. … It allows information to be exchanged between them. Children have free-flowing midline canals. … When toxic heavy metals enter this midline canal – which is supposed to be open and free – they block the electrical and metaphysical energetic transmissions between the cerebral hemispheres. “

pp 154-155

I also read about the importance of both sides of the brain working together in Donna Eden’s “Energy Medicine”:

“… the left hemisphere of your brain needs to send information to the right side of your body and the right hemisphere needs to send information to the left side. If energy from the left or right hemisphere is not adequately crossing over to the opposite side of your body, you cannot access and utilize your bran’s full capacity or your body’s full intelligence. “

p. 82

This got me thinking.

What if the two hemispheres in our daughter’s brain were not able to work together because of heavy metal blockages? What if this kept her brain from developing as it was meant to? What if none of her issues were to do with having to “try harder” but a physical issue we’d have to work on?

William talks about the amount of toxins that can accumulate in a body and thus cause problems:

 “It might occur to you that it’s hard to build up significant exposure to heavy metals in just a few years of a young life. … It’s very easy for a baby to take in heavy metals from her or his mother while in the womb, and for a father to pass along heavy metals at conception. That’s because the parents have likely accumulated mercury over decades, and so did their mothers and fathers before them – and mercury tends to stay in the body generation after generation, in some cases for centuries, unless specific steps are taken to detoxify it.”

P. 153-154

By that time, we had found a kinesiologist who was seeing the children regularly. I asked her to check if our daughter needed to detox heavy metals. In the testing, especially mercury and aluminum showed up. I was aghast. This was not something I had expected. Still, now we had a starting point and I felt excited. The kinesiologist subscribed a detox with coriander oil which we started in the first week of the long school holidays.

The detoxing was painful. It was a struggle to get her to take the coriander oil twice per day because of its awful taste. After a few days, her skin broke out. It seemed as if the toxins were being pushed out through the skin. We used all our persuasive skills to keep her going.

How detoxing heavy metals eradicated the mental fog

Then, magic kicked in.

After four weeks, we sat down together to play Rummikub for the first time that summer holiday. Our daughter wanted to join in, so we reiterated the rules of the game to her. I modeled the different sets with the tiles to help her understand. She waved me off impatiently, signalling she knew what she was doing.

After the heavy metal detox, our daughter followed the rules with ease and grace.

I will forever remember this game

Our daughter played with ease and grace. She put out her tiles in perfect order, following all the structural rules which only a few weeks ago had been a complete mystery to her.

I could hardly believe it.

It was amazing.

It felt as if we had struck gold.

A new path had opened and we could see tangible results.

We played Rummikub every day for the remainder of the holidays and I can state with pride that our daughter has since developed an ingenious wit which means that she usually wins the game.

Obviously, the heavy metal detox was bringing results. I was hooked. We paired our kinesiologist with a naturopath who specialized in supplements. Over the course of the next year, our daughter followed several protocols that helped with:

• Releasing toxic elements from her brain

• Flushing out the toxins of her body

• Rebuilding her gut bacteria

• Developing her brain by providing her with the necessary building blocks to form pathways

Her memory skills improved considerably. I asked her how she was feeling compared to before the detox. She beamed.

“Mum, it’s as if a fog was lifted. I can think clearly!”

I broke into tears.

Had I only known this, I would not have judged her for not trying hard enough.

The effect of the stories we tell our children

By now, our daughter was in grade five and had missed out on several years of math foundations. We were not sure how this was going to develop. At the beginning of the year, she did well. But over the course of the year, her marks dropped until she scored one ‘F’ after another in her math tests.

What was going on?

• Did she need help catching up on the basics she had missed?

• Did she suffer from a specific learning disorder after all?

• Was a mere lack of confidence at play?

• Did she actually have to study more, now that her brain had been given the space to grow pathways?

• Had we not done enough brain work yet?

At the end of grade five, we sent our daughter to test her cognitive abilities and her specific math abilities. We wanted to know if there was a specific learning disorder involved.

The test results were remarkable. She scored extremely well with her overall intelligence. Her logical / mathematical thinking also scored high.

However, this only happened in the tests which were not obvious math tasks, but where the mathematical knowledge was “secretly” tested. The moment she was presented with an equation, i.e. a situation similar to math at school, her defenses went up and she presented as if she did not know how to solve the task.

The psychologist explained she lacked the confidence in her own skills and did not believe in herself, a behavior I had originally inflicted upon her. Sadly, this had not stopped there. At school, other girls told her to her face: “See how stupid you are!” when she did not understand a question straight away. Obviously, a comment like this can only land if you believe it yourself.

We knew we had to work on her self-confidence. The cognitive test itself proved to be a major help for this. I showed her the results and told her the test was an independent proof of her extreme intelligence. If anyone questioned this, she could simply reply she knew otherwise and that she was super-smart. I will never forget the grin on her face.

Next, we arranged for additional math tutoring after school with a tutor she trusted and who believed in her. This was supposed to help her work on her confidence and close the factual gap of math concepts from when she had not performed at her peak.

We continued with the supplements to help her boost her brain.

We found a kinesiologist specialized in helping both sides of the brain to integrate.

Throughout this journey, I learned to understand the importance of the stories we tell our children! This is how we shape them! If I could turn back time, I would never have doubted her or expected more of her than she could do.

This was my big lesson.

I have completely changed how I speak to my daughter.

I call her beautiful, wonderful and amazing every day. I tell her how much I love her and how proud I am of her, which is true! I also tell her that life is not easy and that everyone has their own challenges. I let her know that everyone has the choice to stand up to the challenge and rise beyond it or to be kept small by the challenge. I tell her that we will do everything possible to help her rise above her own challenges. Ultimately, it is her choice, how she wants to meet them. She can choose to take the supplements to make her life easier or she can choose not to and live with the consequences of that decision. Whatever she chooses does not make her less lovable or perfect but is a personal learning for her.

To sum this up, in case you or your child are struggling with performance at school, here’s what we did:

• We worked on our own approach, our expectations, and behavior and changed the way we talk to our child.

• We built up our child’s self-esteem by loving her as she is, but also helping her to accept and move through her personal challenges.

• We checked for heavy metals and detoxed them from the body. This process lasted about 18 months and was prescribed by a kinesiologist/naturopath.

• We built up our child’s gut microbiome (over about three months) to help with the absorption of relevant nutrients. The probiotics were prescribed by a kinesiologist/naturopath.

• We provided supplements as basic building blocks for supporting the brain development as prescribed by a kinesiologist/naturopath.

• We had cognitive testing and specific maths testing done to rule out specific learning disorders.

• We engaged a tutor for additional support

Life is not easy. Everyone has their own challenges. You have the choice to stand up to the challenge and rise beyond it. Whatever you choose does not make you or your child less lovable or perfect.